Going Off Alarming: The Autobiography: Vol 2 by Danny Baker

Author:Danny Baker
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Orion
Published: 2014-09-24T23:00:00+00:00

In nine years of television I hadn’t so much as broken a fingernail by way of industrial injury and here, even before I’d said a single word as a DJ, I had twice faced a premature death.

Maybe someone or something was trying to tell me I wasn’t cut out for this.

Black Sheep

In the early seventies an obscure American record label called Increase released a short series of LPs called Cruisin’. Each record took a particular year from the early days of rock’n’roll and featured a single radio show by a well-known disc jockey from the period, complete with station jingles and nostalgic commercials. There had been a steady sale of these evocative time-capsules when I worked in One Stop Records, mainly because they were not available from the usual music outlets and had to be imported from the USA. I loved these LPs and one in particular, Cruisin’ 1963, that featured a hyper-manic DJ called B. Mitchell Read. From the moment his performance started he spoke at breakneck speed, yet wittily and entirely in character, featuring a lunatic array of bells, hooters and table thumps to punctuate his tumbling monologues. It was exactly the kind of crazed bravura I always believed radio ought to sound like, a full-tilt audio whirlwind where the host strains every nerve to match the pounding sounds slapped on to turntables seemingly at random. This was my only guide and desire as my debut approached and, thanks to my utter ignorance at how radio shows really do get put together, I genuinely believed it was simply a matter of hauling in a box of your favourite records and making up the hoopla, in the moment, as you went along. It was just you and the audience, and once that red light went on you had better have something to say to surprise them or why the hell were you there getting paid instead of one of their number? From the snatches I had heard of the current radio scene, it seemed that too many of the show anchors were content to appear rather than work. Thus, as I sat at 6.27 a.m. watching the minutes tick down to my very first appearance as a ‘jock’, though I had no idea what I was going to say I had a very good idea of how I was going to say it. I saw no point easing listeners into their day – which seemed to be the accepted norm – so, taking in the deathly quiet of the GLR building, I thought I may as well swim against the tide. Or better yet, ride a powerboat against it. I think even Chris Evans, himself then still full of untapped anarchy, was shocked at the firework display I leapt into once he gave me the nod to indicate we were now on the air. Picking up one of the various hand bells I had brought with me, I began ringing it for all I was worth. Then, over the

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